Increase your awareness

This thing isn’t working. Google ideas. Implement idea. Stop using idea. This thing still isn’t working. Ask ChatGPT. Implement another idea. Stop using that one. Two years later…

You can’t solve a problem if you don’t clearly understand the problem. Next time you identify something that isn’t working, pause.

1. Step away from the keyboard and reflect. Why isn’t this thing working. Ask why a couple more times. You know 5 whys? Good. Use it.

2. Ok, now you have an actual problem. Let’s start problem solving.

3. Start small. Don’t assume you know what the end goal needs to look at. Solve the first part of the problem and perfect it.

4. It’s getting better? Great. Make some more small improvements.

5. It’s not getting better? We must not have understood the problem well enough. Go ask yourself why a couple more times.

As you can see, it all comes down to slowing down and adding some awareness into your day. If it’s a problem worth solving, take the time to really assess it.

Want an example?

1. I’m bad at task management. Why? Because I rely on memory too much. Why? Because my to dos are scattered around all over the place. Why? Because I use different tools between work and personal. Why? Because I have different computers and phones for each.

2. I need to get all of my tasks into one place. I need a solution that can be with me everywhere. Out of all of my devices, I always have my personal phone.

3. Use the native Notes app (if you’re an iPhone user) and start tracking every to do as it comes in or comes to your mind.

4. Ok, this is working. It’s kind of a cluttered mess though and I have to jump over personal stuff to find my work stuff, it would be nice to break them up. Ok, let’s make one note for work todos and another for personal.

5. Rinse and repeat…

What you’re going to find is that you end up solving your problems better and faster.

Take a breath, you got this.

xoxo

E

Testing vs. studying

This one’s for the parents. Test is a four letter for students. At least it was for me and I certainly have some thoughts even as an adult. Thanks to new studies and some reframing, it’s now a welcome word in our house.

As a first step, we worked on reframing “testing” to help our daughter keep a cool head during a test and focus on doing her best and not the score. With a perfectionist child, this has been incredibly hard. We are working to remind her that, especially at the age of 9, testing gives us an idea of where she needs help.

The goal of school is to learn, right. If she knows everything and is breezing through school, is she getting the school experience she needs and deserves. Nope. How do we learn? We make mistakes. We get things wrong.

Step 1: Failure is a good thing, it means we are learning.

An important second step came along recently when I was listening to the Andrew Huberman podcast. I’m not going to explain the whole podcast episode to you because well, you can go listen for yourself. What I will say is that a big takeaway for me was about using testing as a study tool.

After listening to the episode, I decided to experiment with my daughter. She had just started a new school year, 4th grade, and each week they bring home 10 words to learn about through various activities and then they do a spelling test at the end of the week.

Reading and spelling have been tough subjects for her. Throw her in front of a math problem and she’s on fire, but reading/writing/spelling are a struggle which results in her confidence plummeting and her struggling even more. The first week of words, she studied them and then I gave her a practice test. She scored 6/10. Not great but it’s ok. Second practice test, 7/10. Third practice test, 8/10. Test day at school, 10/10.

Step 2: Study once, practice test 3 times.

My girl came home beaming. We have continued this week and she’s picked up some new strategies to help her with spelling new words, coupled with the practice testing and spelling has gone from her least favorite subject to one she is enjoying. And she’s more engaged in school work overall because she’s seeing the payoff of her hard work. She even asked me to give her a practice test after basketball practice today. Thank you, Dr. Huberman!

Take a breath, you got this.

xoxo

E

Slow down or speed up

Take this course. I made all the mistakes so you don’t have to. It took me forever so that I could help you get it done faster.

Faster. Faster. Faster.

I’m not you. I don’t know your journey. I don’t know what you want or where you want to go. Spoiler alert: you probably aren’t exactly sure.

So, why do you want to learn how to do something faster if you’re not even sure if you want to do that thing long term. Are you even sure you actually want what they have? Do you know what sacrifices they have had to make and continue to make for that life? Do you know what success will look like when you think you achieve it?

I’ve been drawn in countless times. As I sit here writing to you, I can say that the most profound learnings and growth in my life have not come from such programs. The growth is in the struggle. The struggle is where you find out who you are and what you want. The struggle is where you get creative. The struggle is where you have your own breakthroughs.

You are never going to find yourself, have a breakthrough, get creative by following someone else’s system.

Don’t worry about going fast. The right things will happen in the right time. Trust the process. Trust the struggle.

Take a deep breath, you got this.

xoxo

E

Staying consistent

I did this thing. It made me feel really good. It had a ripple effect and made the rest of my day great too. The next day I woke up knowing I should do that thing again and keep the positive streak going. But I didn’t feel like it so I hit snooze and said meh, I’ll try again tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes.

Sound familiar? You know it does. Why is it? Why do we self sabotage like this?

Build flexibility into your new habit or routine.

I started a new morning routine and it was rigid. Start at 5:00am, execute a series of steps, get ready and get your daughter off to school. I could execute it, but everything had to come together perfectly. Guess what happened if I didn’t get up until 5:05am? “The whole thing is ruined because I didn’t get up in time and now I can’t do the routine like I’m supposed to.”

Supposed to according to who? This thing is supposed to help you. Surely cutting out 5-10 minutes isn’t that big of a deal? Oh right, you’re that same person that has some fries for lunch and deems your nutrition sabotaged for the rest of the day and gives yourself a pass to eat as much junk as possible.

I found success when I built in flexibility. If I wake up 15 minutes later than I wanted, that’s ok. I cut some time where I can. If journaling only gets 10 minutes instead of 20, that’s ok. Certainly better than nothing.

When you’re implementing something new, give yourself freedom for imperfect days. Staying consistent is more important than executing perfectly every day. Have you heard the concept that consistency beats intensity every time? it’s true.

Take a breath, you got this.

xoxo

E

Doing it anyway

I don’t want to do it. I know I should. I had a long day at work. I need to increase my mileage. I probably should rest. I made a commitment to myself. Stop making excuses. Here we go.

There are plenty of times I don’t want to do the things I know I should. I am the queen of making excuses that are so damn convincing.

I used to give in to this voice, but one day I didn’t. I gave in a few more times. Then, I defeated that voice a second time. Eventually, the momentum picked up. I’d feel the excuses start and I’d identify and start squashing them quicker than before.

Mind you, this takes time. A lot of time. You can make some big gains in the meantime, but you need to be ready to put in the work.

One of the things you can do is get curious and learn more about your goals, personal development, fitness, etc… I listened to a podcast with Andrew Huberman that has made a difference for me. (Spoiler: I have left with at least one takeaway from every podcast either with or by Andrew Huberman. Outstanding.)

https://youtu.be/BoutTY8XHSc?si=E58EDqOBFf7eD-eb

The science on the AMCC gives me a new perspective to think about whenever I face resistance. I know that there are immense benefits that come from my workouts but now I know the impact that it can have on my brain, especially when I really don’t want to do something. To go do 10 pushups even when I don’t want to do anything at all. To do one more set even when I’m exhausted and ready to be done. To get home from my run and crank out some burpees and an ab circuit. You get it.

Future me will be grateful. Past me would be proud. Present me is both.

Take a breath, you got this.

xoxo

E

Keeping a journal

I love pen and paper. The idea of buying new office supplies makes me so happy. As much as I love and embrace technology, it’ll never replace that love.

I’ve played around with so many different methods over the years to tackle task management and even journaling. It would work for a bit and then it would trail off, but this time it’s sticking.

I took away all of the frill. I’m not trying to do things a certain way, not trying to make it look good, nothing like that. I’m journaling purely to get my thoughts on paper to try to make better sense of them. If something comes to mind, i write it down.

I can really see the difference. I’m doing a better job of working through things in general but I’m also noticing new things that I don’t think I would without journaling. I’m also becoming a lot more honest with myself and accepting of my feelings instead of dismissing them. For example, if anything negative happens while I’m PMS-ing, I blame it on the hormones but never the situation. This week was rough but I didn’t dismiss it as just hormonal fluctuations. It was a sucky week, I got through it, and now I’m moving on.

Give it a try. Don’t put any pressure on it, even times of day. If you feel thoughts springing up, start writing. Working through a tough problem? Journal. Feeling down or upset? Journal. Feeling happy? Journal.

Take a deep breath, you got this.

xoxo

E

20/20/20

Mornings are the worst. I am the person that you find grumpily rolling around in bed trying to avoid the inevitable, getting up. Snooze and I are close buddies. Procrastination and I have a long relationship. And the bed? That is a love I can’t explain.

All that to say, being “not a morning person” has been a strong part of my identity since I was a kid. A badge of honor if you will. If I let you in on a secret, as much as I proclaim my love, I’ve always hated it. I’ve wanted to be the person that could wake up early and crush it instead of snoozing to the last minute and throwing myself into the chaos of the day.

I’ve tried many times before but nothing ever stuck. The typical “morning routine” ideas never felt important enough to get me out of bed. I thought, is it really doing anything other than giving me something to do so I can say I got up?

When I found 20/20/20 in the 5AM club book, I decided to give it a go. Today is day 3 and I feel like I’m turning a corner. The first couple of days were great but the most important lesson I’m learning is that guidelines are just that. They should be a guide but they should be tailored to you.

Between day 1 to today, I’ve re-ordered things which was the best thing I could have done. Namely, I moved the workout to later to give me some time to wake up and have a better workout. So smart. I also woke up a little bit on the later side so I shaved a few minutes off overall but still achieved everything.

One of the more important things I have noticed and why this one will stick is that it gives me momentum. I don’t do this morning routine and then have a normal day. I’ve been checking things off my list that I’ve procrastinated on for weeks. I’m doing more but not feeling like it’s a grind.

Check out the book, maybe it’ll spark something in you too. Also, interesting side note - I picked this book up years ago and it didn’t resonate. Sometimes it’s all about timing.

Take a breath and lead with your highest self.

xoxo

E

Finding your reason

I had an idea for today’s topic, but as life goes, I was thrown a curve ball that was far more compelling.

I am a people pleaser and I have a temper, both of which I have been working on for years. That means that when things are done to me, I find it very hard to call attention to them. I don’t want to be the “problem”. When things are done to people I care about, my temper would typically take over and lead to a “too emotional” response so again I don’t say anything at all.

Speaking up for yourself or others is hard. It takes a lot of courage. If this is true for you, find less stressful situations that allow you to practice. For example, I had a system issue that impacted a registration for my daughter. I was sure I did everything right but in the past, I would have just assumed I did something wrong and apologized to my daughter. I realized that’s not fair to her. She deserves to have someone fight for her and I would hope anyone that has the privilege to be in her life would fight for her.

So instead of walking away from the situation, I reached out and explained the situation and asked for support. I was kind in my message but unfortunately received a rude response. I again thought about how I would like my daughter to be treated and how she might perceive my response in this situation. So, I stood up for myself, explained that I was disheartened to be spoken to in this way when I was simply asking for support.

I’m not sure what will happen, but tonight, I will sleep well knowing I stood up for myself and my daughter, mastered my emotions and was the role model I aspire to be for my daughter.

Take a breath and lead with your highest self.

xoxo

E